A Life Journey

Wow, what a hectic, crazy, spectacular, and spiritual month it has been. My mom and I just returned from a five day trip to Mexico. We were part of a group of 13 women, and it may sound outrageous, but in more ways than one this trip felt like a necessary personal journey for me...

We were nestled in an absolutely beautiful mountain town called Ixtapan. It was very clean and simple and the people were incredibly kind. It was the type of place where you could walk the streets at night safely, and where you would look out over a sunrise or sunset and feel the power of God sitting right there beside you.

On top of all of this pure, raw beauty I would head to the spa each day in anticipation of receiving some type of exotic pampering... Whether it was a Swedish massage, a Fango mud wrap, reflexology, a facial, or one of the countless other treatments, we all spent at least two hours of every day dressed in nothing but a robe and absorbing the self-indulgence.

All of this pampering would have been enriching enough, but because of the timing of our trip the experience became even more special to me…

After Dustin's accident my family realized just how fast life is. For several months, maybe even a year, we were able to avoid getting intertwined in the speed of everything – we slowed down and absorbed the graces of life’s simplicities.

However, lately I seem to have devalued the importance of that costly lesson. I have not been home to Charlottesville in almost a month. Between Dustin's tournament and a huge event at work, I've been spending 65+ hours a week in the office... I was up sending emails until 3am the night before we left for Mexico. I had one hour of sleep and packed in about 30 minutes... I am not exaggerating when I say I had no idea what airport we were leaving from or what town we were headed to until I met the girls and got on the bus (to Mexico) Saturday morning. It was like October was "rapid fire" month; I reserved no time for God, my marriage, or for personal growth.

Needless to say, heading to Mexico for five days in the midst of all this seemed like a ridiculous idea. Ironically, it proved to be an invaluable opportunity that gave me the chance to slow down and recognize the person I am in the day-to-day (during the hustle and bustle of everything professional and everything social) and the person I truly want to be – a better wife, a better friend, a better steward of God’s gifts.

Nothing helped to reveal this more than the two yoga instructors we had the privilege of practicing with at the resort. Their classes were unlike anything I have ever experienced before; the classes were not about poses, but about reaching into your soul and finding your spirit.

Just to give a couple examples... We would spend five minutes lying on the floor shaking every muscle in our bodies as fast as we could, and then five minutes in absolute stillness. (This was about exercising stored energy and getting rid of the garbage we carry on a daily basis.)

We would put our legs and feet flat up against a wall and move only our eyes. We rolled them in giant circles: up, down, left, right, diagonal, clockwise, counter-clockwise, and then would cup our palms (over our eyes) and lie in darkness. (This was meant to encourage new sight and to return us to "centeredness.")

They would play music and tell us to dance... (This was all about being free and letting the simplicity of the music guide your movements.)

We would sit on our butts, stretch our arms and legs out as wide as we could, tilt our heads back, stick our tongues out and breathe in and out for 3-5 minutes. We weren't supposed to blink our eyes, look down, or swallow... Just stretch and breathe. (This series was about perseverance and openness - if you don't believe me just try it! It was one of the hardest exercises I did all week.)

We also took classes on meditation, learning about flame and chanting techniques. (In some ways it scares me to talk about all of this. Just trying to put it into words seems to trivialize the intense physical and spiritual power these classes manifested... I guess it could sound cult-ish or scary, but it was neither. It was absolutely beautiful.)

Our instructors would share powerful bits of wisdom like...

"In prayer we talk to God. In meditation we listen."

"We are exposed to so much around us that we have to meditate often to bring ourselves back to who we truly are."

“Pray and meditate as if your life depended on it, because it does.”

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

All of it was truly powerful and life-changing. I walked out of a couple classes in tears because they had such a tremendous impact on my soul.

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After all of this “journaling” I do have to stop and ask why me? Why is a 27 year old girl (who has already been afforded so many luxuries and securities in life) given the chance to spend a (selfish) week in Mexico - especially when there are billions of other women in the world who deserve it far more than I do? The only answer I can come up with is that I don't deserve anything of this magnitude... There is absolutely no reason why I should be receiving my second or third spa treatment of the day and about to head off to yoga, while there are families who can't afford to feed their own children just a couple hours down the road...

I know it's unfair and that it makes no rational sense, but I did go... And I did grow and appreciate every minute of the experience. Now I can only use the opportunity to make the world a brighter place. If you are reading this, please help to hold me accountable for not only living what I have learned but also for sharing it with my family, my friends, with our GreenHouse kids, with whomever I am supposed to share this message… I realize (and truly believe) that “when you go within, you will never be without.”