Sometimes I just want to cry.

Is this what it's like? You put your heart and soul into someone and then they tell you they don't need you...

Student:
"I'll be fine on my own or else I'll ask my teacher. I don't need your help."

Me:
"You know you need to be ready by 9:30 tomorrow morning, right?"
(It is 10:00pm the night before)

Student:
"Uh huh."

In some ways, I have no idea what it's like to be a parent... In others, I feel like I've suddenly adopted several teenage girls...

The hard part is that I believe in them so much... I am happy to sacrifice the time, the money, and (most valuable of all) the emotion. But when they act like they don't need or want me in their lives, it rips my heart out...

Recap of the past three days

I find out that one of our GreenHouse girls is going to receive a scholarship that we nominated her for. I am super excited. Her acceptance speech is tomorrow and she is supposed to give a 3-5 minute "thank you" and to eat lunch with the group of women who are funding the award. All she is concerned with is the jewelry and dress we are helping her get for prom. She has not, will not, write any remarks to prepare. She got mad at me (and my sister) for trying to stress the importance of the scholarship over the dress.

Another one of our girls has been telling me she has all A's, B's and C's... Come to find out she is actually failing her entire freshman year. All F's!!! The worst part is that she is bright and capable, she just has a major attendance problem.

Which brings me to the third point of drama... Her drug addicted mother who sold all of their family's food stamps so she could fund her addictions. Now they are calling asking if we can help them get some groceries. Lord, what do you want us to do at this point? It feels like such a complicated, whirlwind of mess. How can we help without enabling this downward, self-deprecating spiral?

Sometimes I just want to cry. I mean - seriously, I want to fall into my husband's arms and bawl my eyes out.

So Dustin, this is a skymail entry... I want you to know that your work (here on earth) is hard. I am trying. I promise I am trying, but it is so incredibly hard. I guess that's to be expected... Maybe we are reaching that point of truth. The point where the social philanthropist is separated from the real philanthropist. It really makes you stop and question - Am I even doing a good job?

How do you parent teenagers who have grown up with no rules, no mentors, no guiding light??? How do you play parent when you've never even had an infant, toddler or adolescent of your own??? How do you help someone when you are forced to send them back to a war-zone of a home night after night???

Please, Dustin, find these girls some mercy! Please, little brother, help me do a better job of being your arms, your legs, your hands...